The longest year yet

Or will it be the shortest?

My son has passed the one-year mark and we’re overjoyed that we can now say he has “LESS THAN ONE YEAR” to serve of his two-and-a-half year sentence in Arizona’s Department of Corrections.

Hopefully, the days will fly by for him, his wife and daughter, and all who know and love him, and then he’ll be in the loving arms of his family.

Let’s get this out of the way first. Does he deserve to be there? Of course. His actions and choices made in the throes of his addiction determined his consequences. In fact, considering the state’s strict sentencing code that leaves no room for a judge to consider a case on its own merits, his 2.5 years are actually a lenient sentence.

But I can see how my daughter-in-law struggles with missing him as much or more now than in the early days of his incarceration. As his mother, seeing him in a prison environment is painful. But seeing what his 3-year-old daughter is feeling is far more painful.

She was just 18 months old when he went away, so she couldn’t verbalize her feelings at that time. Now she can.

At our last prison visit earlier this month, she asked, “Daddy, can you come home with me today?”

Her mom said she knows all the kids’ fathers at the day care center and wonders why her daddy can’t be there with her.

Thinking back to the early days, when I knew there was a problem but didn’t know what to do about it, I’d still like to strangle our neighborhood drug dealer.

Am I totally nuts or have you ever felt this way? When does that pain ease?

And there’s an even bigger concern. Will my son--could he--ever relapse again? Let me know about your own experiences and pain.

Wise words from a rocker

Rocker-star-idol, that is—not the kind you sit in on the front porch down south.

It’s National Drug & Alcohol Addiction Recovery Month. And I never thought I’d take seriously anything the founder of the rock band Motley Crue might say. But former heroin addict Nikki Sixx spoke recently on Capitol about addiction and recovery, and I was impressed.

Check it out for yourself. Do you agree with his comments about the family in recovery?

I liked his final words: “Close the door on destruction and celebrate recovery.” That's where my family is today and it's a good place to be.


http://headbangersblog.mtv.com/?s=nikki+sixx

http://www.recoverymonth.gov/

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Explaining addiction in layman's terms

The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) has released a helpful new booklet titled "Drugs, Brains and Behavior: The Science of Addiction."

In its 30 pages, it describes how science has revolutionized what we now know about drug addiction "as a brain disease that affects behavior."

Somehow I find hope when I see addiction explained, rationally, and see references to prevention and treatment. After all, until the addict is in the grave, there IS hope, isn't there?

Check out the PDF of the booklet or order one here.

I'm going to get a copy for my 84-year-old mother, who doesn't understand why it isn't just a matter of will power. Gotta admit, some days I wonder that myself.

http://www.drugabuse.gov/scienceofaddiction/

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Tough love for addicts: more love, less tough?

I found an interesting podcast today. It’s a discussion with Laurence Westreich, MD, author of the new book Helping the Addict You Love: The New Effective Program for Getting the Addict into Treatment.

Dr. Westreich has all the right credentials. In addition to being a board-certified psychiatrist who specializes in the treatment of patients dually diagnosed with addiction and mental disorders, he is associate professor of clinical psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine and serves as the consultant on drugs of abuse to Major League Baseball.

In his book (and the podcast), he suggests that families “use a combination of creative engagement and constructive coercion to push addicted members into treatment. Threats and ultimatums are less helpful,” he says, “than are multiple and lovingly delivered confrontations that continually push the addicted family member towards obtaining treatment.”

Traditionally, family members have been encouraged to use "tough love" in dealing with an addicted family member. But Dr. Westreich fears that too many families emphasize the "tough" over the "love".

Interesting. Through the years, I’ve thought most parents have found the tough part to be more difficult.

Take a few minutes to listen to the podcast, then tell me what you think. Are families too tough on the addict? Not tough enough? I’d like to know what you’ve observed.

http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=weblog&wlid=9&id=242&cn=14

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